Yesterday I had a meeting with Brian and showed him this little (about 60mm high) black and white version of the book. This was made due to issues with my own printer and I also wondered what affect having a colourless version at such a small scale might have on me and others.
The story itself seems to convey well as Brian and some of my peers understood what was generally happening, although both Brian and Lawrence thought that the story took place in a gallery. This idea itself interests me in that the story could be told through a series of images displayed within a gallery, this is something I will explore as it ties in with many of the things I have been doing through this project such as visits or talks.
Everyone really liked the ocean scene where the main character is holding onto the mast/bird's nest, this is the only image so far that seems to work in tone and composition. Brian did feel that there was a gap in the story between that image and the one prior to it. This is something I will work on both through text and trying out different compositions, I will also create a colour version just to see how the colour changes flow and if they add or take away from each scene.
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| Gap in story between this and next scene |
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| composition that seems to be working |
Lawrence also brought up how he felt there was issues with the pages that contain many scenes or parts of the story. I myself think that these help to develop pace by slowing down the reader as the first version was literally all double page spreads which felt to mono tonal as the pace remained the same throughout. However he did suggest a really good idea for the scene where the character is trying to escape. The idea is to use a method animators often use to show one environment and the character in several positions showing their actions as they progress through a scene. I strangely enough seen an example of this on a poster on the corridor wall of the university this morning, this example is shown below.
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